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| The story of Matthew Shepard is tragic. Not only was Matthew Shepard beaten and abandoned to die due to a simple fact that he was gay, but the Westboro Baptist Church had the audacity to "protest" his funeral At the time, crimes against the LGBT community were not considered as hate crimes. |
Warning: Uncharacteristically serious topic.
No, I'm not kidding.
Seriously.
About three years ago I watched a Sherry Vine's Parody of Lady Gaga's Alejandro music video. In this Sherry Vine parody, I was drawn to a picture of a young man that had bittersweet eyes with a sad story to tell. As usual, curiosity led me to the Wikipedia page of Matthew Shepard. Soon, I found myself clicking through numerous links and clips about Matthew Shepard.
What hit me the most about his story is that his tragedy happened in 1997.
-- 1997 --
This was a period when I didn't know gay people existed and I thought that being gay was "unnatural." According to my peers, being gay was a choice and God frowned upon it. This was also around the time my mother questioned my sexuality and bluntly asked, almost accusingly: "Are you a lesbian?"
My reaction was a disgusted: "No."
The next day, as a laugh, I told my friends about this incident. They all laughed. Except for one. She said:
"It's okay to be a lesbian. There's nothing wrong with being gay."
I unfortunately didn't realize at the time how real and significant this statement was until years later.
I rather not admit that I was a homophobic teen, but I didn't bother to acknowledge gays' existence either, which is just as bad. I preferred to think that "gay" was just a figment of people's imagination.
And so begins my evolution...
My friend came out to me in high school. I was shocked, but after a while I eventually learned to "deal" with it. Then I met more gay people. I started to place gay people into stereotypes like gay guys are "fruity fairies" and lesbians are "butch." I still used the word gay to mean "lame" and laughed at gay jokes, just not in front of gay people.
When I started college, I was a little more open-minded but I still snickered from time to time at the expense of gay people. I became friends with a guy who didn't fit my gay stereotypes and he seemed straight from my judgement. I was caught off guard, yet again, when he came out to me. My mind was blown. I quickly adopted a philosophy, "I will assume you're straight until you tell me you are indeed gay." Then I met more people who broke my guidelines for a stereotypical gay person. I tried to make sense of what made people gay. I blamed the universe for my lack of gaydar. Why couldn't I figure out who was gay or not?
Until one day, I found myself asking, "Why does it matter anyway?" If you made me smile and laugh, if I liked you, I'm just glad you exist in this world. I just didn't care anymore. Sexual orientation no longer mattered to me.
Therefore, ever since I watched Sherry Vine's video, every October, I think about Matthew Shepard and how painfully ignorant I was during the year of his death.
So, dear LGBT community, don't give up on us "homophobes." I know it can be frustrating and heart-breaking but some of us are just ignorant people who don't know any better and need the time, and perhaps some guidance, to realize we're all just plainly and equally human.
With Love,
Rie
